Healing the Healer
The Jung at Heart blog has a wonderful article on therapists getting therapy, “Therapist Heal Thyself“. I couldn’t agree more that therapists taking responsibility for their own issues and doing their own work is absolutely essential. This is the first question I recommend asking a potential therapist, “How do you work through your own issues?” (See the full article, “10 Questions to Ask Your Next Therapist“.)
Therapists who don’t get therapy of their own concern me for many reasons. First, therapists hear a lot of painful things and we have to deal with a lot of relationship issues in therapy. If you don’t process these things in an appropriate way it starts to leak into our personal life. It may affect our relationships with family, friends, spouses and other loved ones.
Secondly, getting therapy can help weed out therapists who are impaired. A therapist with a substance abuse problem (yes, it happens, we are only human too) or some other issue cannot function effectively in dealing with others. They may project their own problems onto clients or fail to confront clients about a problems which the therapist has not dealt with in their own life. This impairment, at best, may prevent the client from getting good treatment. At worst, it can seriously harm the client if the therapist begins to bring his or her dysfunction into the therapy process. Therapy makes it more likely that the therapist will examine what they are doing honestly and take responsibility for it.
Thirdly, a therapist getting their own therapy is manifesting good self-care. Self-care is something I feel very strongly about. I advocate with most of my clients that they be aware of their self-care, use it to measure how well they are doing and improve it as needed. Self-care is a manifestation of self-respect. If your therapist doesn’t respect and take care of themselves, how can they help you learn how?
Fourthly, a therapist getting therapy is humble. They do not feel above their patients or better than others. They realize they are fallible and human. Someone who realizes this is much more likely to be accepting of your foibles and fumbles. They are less likely to be judgmental and intolerant. This awareness of their humanity makes them more approachable and comfortable.
Lastly, a therapist who goes to therapy themselves knows how the process feels and works from the other chair. Having sat in that chair myself, many times, I have learned a lot about what works, what not to do and how things feel on the receiving end. That in itself is a valuable lesson.
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